A gentleman and a professional at all times.

Many moons ago, after reading 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I developed six overarching principles to guide my business and personal life.  These are mine; I have no ambition that others should adopt them, nor do I imply a moral right.  In fact, the first principle has an implicit respect and tolerance for others' differing principles. 

I edited them carefully over the course of many months, and each word has specific meaning.  As I read them now, I marvel at--once reduced to the marrow--how true they are to me, as if hard-wired into my being.  I have carried them in my wallet and in my heart for a couple decades.   In my office, I have a bulletin board of quotes to which I turn when I am facing a dilemma or decision that requires perspective, and this list is in the center.  Here they are, and in the next few posts, I'll discuss each one individually:

1. Be a gentleman and a professional at all times.
2. Be the person who deserves the things you want.
3. Never complain or explain.
4. Take credit and responsibility.
5. Everyone is special.
6. Always improve.

1. Be a gentleman and a professional at all times.
This sets a standard of excellence for both work product and for behavior.  Like the rest, it is a statement of goals, not minimum performance.  

A gentleman--or "gentle man"--puts others first.  There are no tempers, no foul language, no dishonesty or unnecessary secrets, no egotims or inuendoes--no bending the world to accommodate his person.  We may choose to raise our prices, or not to give in on a certain deal point, but we will do so politely and with full respect for the (differing) position of the other party.  A gentleman does not let anger or alcohol inhibit his behavior.  A gentleman will not lie to assuage the feelings of others, but rather tells the truth with care and concern for the listener.  He does the unpleasant tasks without comment or complaint (coming later).  His weariness, his hunger, his embarrassment, his cowardice and his bladder are simply not things to be accommodated.

A professional maintains a certain standard of excellence--whatever he has chosen to be, he will be the very best.  This is not the best "he can be;" a professional does not merit qualifiers.  Simply the best.  If this level of performance cannot be attained, he will work harder or choose something else, something more suited.  As an inventor, I will be the most creative, create the most value.  As a leader, I will hold the highest standards of integrity and excellence, communication and vision.  As a father, I will be the most compassionate and nurturing, without neglecting discipline and teaching.  What is done, is done deliberately and thoughtfully, with a high degree of proficiency.  Professionals make few mistakes, be they doctors or football players.  Mistakes may happen, but they must be recognized, acknowledged and learned from.

Lastly, "at all times."  This is a set of standards that must be saught at every moment.  It does not rest or take a vacation--it cannot be turned off.  One weekend of folly can ruin a marriage; one bad relationship can ruin a company; one poorly timed slap or scream can cast fear into the eyes of a son, daughter or spouse.

Rereading this, I am faced with the same anxiety I felt each time I stood next to the bar while competing in the high jump in high school.  The bar was first raised to the level of my shoulders, then my chin, then my eyes and eventually over my head.  The highest I jumped was 6'4", and I am only 5'11".  I can remember looking up thinking, "there is no way I can get over this," and yet with the proper approach, a strong step, and a well-timed kick, I got over them one by one, until I didn't, and then I got up and tried again.