Monday, September 20, 2010

The High Road

A week or two ago, I had an important presentation for a group of people, and when the meeting started, there were frowny faces all around the room.  Some were even dramatic, like, "Look at my face!  I wish I could tell you why I'm making this face at you!"  The tenor of the room never got above a low G.

Forgive, please, the absense of details here... Suffice it to say that someone interfered with that meeting before it started, causing a lot of frowny faces and an unsuccessful outcome.

When I run into situations like this, I feel as if I have been mule-kicked off the high road and am drawn to fight back, get revenge, maybe even plant a bruise or two on this other person's lanky frame.  I know when I feel like this that it's wrong.  "Vengeance is mine," and "turn the other cheek," and all that.  It is still a tough climb, with the most meager of toe- and finger-holds, to claw back to where I focus on creating value and showing love for others...

I do wonder sometimes the motivation of these purely negative acts.  There is no good that can come of it, nothing created, made, improved, nobody loved or nourished...  Why throw those hand grenades?

It may be that the way I do my job, declaring publicly that the most important things that the company does are to love our constituents and to create and deliver value--I'm afraid this has the effect of polarizing people, making them either extremely loyal or extremely ticked-off. 

The ones who are ticked off would prefer I made decisions based on personal financial, gain, rather than letting personal and financial gain be the natural consequence of creating value and showing love and respect for others.

The ones who are loyal are so much so that I am humbled and grateful beyond imagination.

I have two stories, and then I'll close.  The first goes back to when we had a law suit with an ex-employer.  Early on, I told an old friend from high school about it, and then declared, "They think they're going to get me to roll over and quit!"

"Have they met you?" she asked.  Her answer said it all.  I saught a win-win, but finding none, stood by the company's principles. We didn't quit and now the fiber is already in a position to save lives.

The next story has to do with my employment agreement, which has a clause in it that essentially declares that, as long as the job of CEO of Innegrity is a crummy, high stress, low reward job--it is mine.  Once it gets to be a high paid, high profile look-at-our-success-and-how-great-we're-doing job, then my board is free to fire me and put someone else in.

I know my gifts, and I was not put here for the easy job--that one I'll hand over.  I was put here to lead during these crazy chaotic early days when all others would quit, blame it on some external factor, and move on.  My chief value is my vision and my stubborn adherance to it--every other skill can be hired. 

In the church world, we call this the spiritual gift of faith.  It is the ability to stay the course no matter how strong the gale blows in another direction.  It is David, having been hunted for months, still declaring his loyalty.  He cut the corner of Saul's robe of when he could have killed him.  Wouldn't he have been justified in exacting a little revenge--maybe just a flesh wound?  This gift comes with the unfortunate circumstance that it will be tested, or, well, "used" I guess is a better word.  "Used" to get someone or something past that gale.  Even if some tend to blame me for the gale rather than giving credit for the progress made against it.